2013 at the Movies: biggest disappointments

THE RAMBLER

I don’t have a Worst Ten Movie list because, unlike professional critics, I don’t have to see every movie. I did see over 190 first-run movies this year, but I try REALLY, REALLY HARD to avoid the bad movies. So my worst movie going experience is usually either 1) on an airline flight when I see a movie that I normally wouldn’t; 2) a hyped art film that disastrously falls on its face and/or really pisses me off (The White Ribbon); or 3) something I find on cable TV while channel surfing (Paul Blart: Mall Cop). But usually, the culprit finds its way aboard a long airline flight. Not this year.

In the purely disappointing category, I was underwhelmed by the Coen Brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis, Pedro Almodovar’s I’m So Excited and The World’s End with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. I was expecting much more from those filmmakers.

Of course, Only God Forgives (from the director and star of Drive, which I really liked) was a red-hot mess – but I had caught wind of the buzz before I saw it, so I really wasn’t surprised.  Same with The Great Gatsby, which I could tell was a stinker from the trailer.  And I did walk out of the French film Rich Is the Wolf; it’s about a wife who watches hours of video of her husband to figure how and why he went missing  – but after 40 minutes, I realized that I didn’t care what happened to him or whether she would find out.

Notwithstanding all of the above, the clearly worst film that I saw in 2013 – and I’m talking epically, horrifically terrible – was Calvin Lee Reeder’s The Rambler. It’s a disjointed collection of shock pieces that turns from a tribute to David Lynch to an homage to Rob Zombie (if David Lynch and Rob Zombie were bad filmmakers).  In the low (I must say LOWEST) point, the Dermot Mulroney character dreams that he is strapped to a bed when a dummy dressed like an old hag plunges through the window above his head and vomits what looks like yellow paint on to his face and into his mouth. It is an extended vomit scene – 58 seconds (I timed it).

Finally, I re-watched the 1980 epic Heaven’s Gate, which had been the subject of much critical re-assessment this year – and it’s still epically bad.

Movies to See Right Now

THE HUNT

This week’s MUST SEE is The Hunt – the best movie of 2013 so far.

I haven’t yet see the critically acclaimed heart breaker Fruitvale Station, which also opens today.  You can read descriptions and view trailers of upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.

My other recommendations:

Also out right now:

  • the gross-out comedy This is the End, which has its moments.
  • There’s cleverness in the psychological thriller Berberian Sound Studio, but just not enough thrills for a thriller.
  • Also out on VOD, Nancy, Please is a dark comedy about neurotic obsession among the over-educated. Not that funny.
  • Neither is the VOD comedy Bert and Arnie’s Guide to Friendship.
  • Do not see the wretched crime thriller Only God Forgives, which I’ll write about next week.

My most recent DVD/Stream of the Week picks are the unintentionally hilarious Troll 2 and the documentary about it, Best Worst MovieTroll 2 is available streaming on Amazon, iTunes and Vudu.  Best Worst Movie is available on DVD from Netflix and streaming on Amazon, iTunes and Vudu.  You can see some of the finer bits of Troll 2 by doing a YouTube search for “You can’t piss on hospitality” and “Troll 2 O my God”.

On August 1, Turner Classic Movies is showing In a Lonely Place, an under appreciated film noir.  Two of my favorite classic stars, Humphrey Bogart and Gloria Grahame, each deliver one of their signature performances.  Bogie plays a screenwriter with a drinking problem and a volatile temper – exactly the perpetrator profile for a local murder; good time girl Grahame wants to fall for him…and things will go better if he’s innocent.

Movies to See Right Now

THE HEAT

This week’s top choice is the cop buddy comedy The Heat – the best showcase so far for Melissa McCarthy’s comic genius.

My other recommendations:

Also out right now:

I haven’t yet seen the promising coming of age comedy The Way, Way Back or the Pedro Almodovar rauchfest I’m So Excited.  Both open this weekend.  You can read descriptions and view trailers of upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.

For the second week in a row, my DVD/Stream of the Week is the jaw dropping documentary The Imposter. You must see it to believe it. The Imposter is available on DVD from Netflix and streaming from Netflix, Amazon, iTunes and many other VOD providers.

Movies to See Right Now

DEAD MAN'S BURDEN on VOD

We’re in June, which means an emphasis on “tent pole” movies – the big blockbusters aimed at attracting mobs of kids and teens.  The bottom line: there are just a few intelligent movies for adults in theaters now, but more available on Video On Demand and on broadcast TV. Here are my recommendations for this week:

  • Shadow Dancer, about a young single mom in the IRA, is showing in some theaters now, but can be hard to find. It is also available streaming from Amazon, iTunes and Vudu.
  • Much Ado About Nothing takes the homework out of Shakespeare and puts the screwball comedy back in.
  • The East is an absorbing and thought-provoking eco-terrorism thriller.
  • Before Midnight, the year’s best romance, continuing the story of Ethan Hawke’s Jesse and Julie Delpy’s Celine from Before Sunrise and Before Sunset.
  • The documentary We Steal Secrets: The Story of WikiLeaks is Alex Gibney’s inside look at an improbable scandal. It’s also available streaming from Amazon, Vudu, YouTube, Google Play and other VOD outlets.
  • I like the unsentimental Western Dead Man’s Burden, available on DVD from Netflix and streaming from Amazon, Vudu and other VOD outlets.
  • The insightful HBO documentary Love, Marilyn uses Marilyn Monroe’s recently discovered letters and journals to give us a candid yet sympathetic inside look at Marilyn.
  • Hey Bartender, the entertaining documentary about the trend toward Craft Bartending, is hard to find in theaters, but easy to find on VOD (Amazon, Vudu, iTunes).

Also out right now:

  • Fast & Furious 6 has exciting chases, a silly story, a smoldering Michelle Rodriguez and a hard ass Gina Carano.
  • There’s cleverness in the psychological thriller Berberian Sound Studio, but just not enough thrills for a thriller.
  • Also out on VOD, Nancy, Please is a dark comedy about neurotic obsession among the over-educated.  Not that funny.

You can read descriptions and view trailers of upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.

My DVD/Stream of the Week is the Oscar-nominated Chilean historical drama No, with Gael Garcia Bernal.  No is available on DVD from Netflix and streaming from Vudu.

Turner Classic Movies wraps up its June film noir festival tonight with Czar of Noir Eddie Muller presenting films from the novels of Cornell Woolrich (The Leopard Man, Deadline at Dawn) and Raymond Chandler (Murder My Sweet, The Big Sleep, Lady in the Lake, Strangers on a Train).

 

June movie doldrums

FAST & FURIOUS 6

Yeeesh.  The pickings are slim in theaters.  For example, take this one local multiplex that usually offers some appealing films for adults.  This week, it is devoting all sixteen of its screens to the 2D and 3D versions of After Earth, Epic, The Hangover: Part III, The Great Gatsby, Star Trek Into Darkness, Fast & Furious 6, Now You See Me and Iron Man 3.  I’ve seen the flashy, hollow and lame Gatsby.

I don’t want to see any of the others.  Fast and Furious 6 is supposed to be pretty entertaining, but it’s just not my kind of movie.  Same with the fantasy EpicNow You See Me is getting critically trashed, but nothing like After Earth and The Hangover: Part III, which are battling for recognition as the year’s very worst film.

The indie that is opening widely this weekend is Frances Ha, but after Greenberg and Damsels in Distress, I am never sitting through another annoying Greta Gerwig movie.

Alas, Sarah Polley’s superb documentary Stories We Tell is gone after a mere two week run in local theaters. Thank God for The East.

So, what is a movie junkie to do?  Fortunately, there are some fine choices on TV, especially with TCM’s June noir festival and HBO’s upcoming summer documentary series (including Casting By), plus some promising films coming out on VOD.

And we can wait for some good stuff later this summer, among them the indie heartbreaker Fruitvale Station, the Brie Larson star-maker Short Term 12, Pedro Almodovar’s I’m So Excited, and Woody Allen’s Blue Jasmine.  I’ve already seen the brilliant teen coming of age film The Spectacular Now, which is on my Best Movies of 2013 – So Far.  You can read descriptions and watch trailers of upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.