2013 at the Movies: biggest disappointments

THE RAMBLER

I don’t have a Worst Ten Movie list because, unlike professional critics, I don’t have to see every movie. I did see over 190 first-run movies this year, but I try REALLY, REALLY HARD to avoid the bad movies. So my worst movie going experience is usually either 1) on an airline flight when I see a movie that I normally wouldn’t; 2) a hyped art film that disastrously falls on its face and/or really pisses me off (The White Ribbon); or 3) something I find on cable TV while channel surfing (Paul Blart: Mall Cop). But usually, the culprit finds its way aboard a long airline flight. Not this year.

In the purely disappointing category, I was underwhelmed by the Coen Brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis, Pedro Almodovar’s I’m So Excited and The World’s End with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. I was expecting much more from those filmmakers.

Of course, Only God Forgives (from the director and star of Drive, which I really liked) was a red-hot mess – but I had caught wind of the buzz before I saw it, so I really wasn’t surprised.  Same with The Great Gatsby, which I could tell was a stinker from the trailer.  And I did walk out of the French film Rich Is the Wolf; it’s about a wife who watches hours of video of her husband to figure how and why he went missing  – but after 40 minutes, I realized that I didn’t care what happened to him or whether she would find out.

Notwithstanding all of the above, the clearly worst film that I saw in 2013 – and I’m talking epically, horrifically terrible – was Calvin Lee Reeder’s The Rambler. It’s a disjointed collection of shock pieces that turns from a tribute to David Lynch to an homage to Rob Zombie (if David Lynch and Rob Zombie were bad filmmakers).  In the low (I must say LOWEST) point, the Dermot Mulroney character dreams that he is strapped to a bed when a dummy dressed like an old hag plunges through the window above his head and vomits what looks like yellow paint on to his face and into his mouth. It is an extended vomit scene – 58 seconds (I timed it).

Finally, I re-watched the 1980 epic Heaven’s Gate, which had been the subject of much critical re-assessment this year – and it’s still epically bad.

Movies to See Right Now

SHORT TERM 12

This week’s MUST SEE is the affecting foster facility drama Short Term 12, with its powerful performance by performance by Brie Larson (Rampart, The Spectacular Now). Another good choice is You Will Be My Son, a good French movie with a great ending (and it will likely be in theaters for only another week or so).

Other recommendations from the most current movies:

  • I really liked the absorbing drama Ain’t Them Bodies Saints.
  • In A World… is the year’s best comedy so far – it’s a Hollywood satire, an insider’s glimpse into the voice-over industry, a family dramedy and a romantic comedy all in one.
  • The Family, Luc Besson’s tongue-in-cheek Mafioso-moves-to-France comedy has its moments.

I haven’t yet seen the Joseph Gordon Levitt comedy Don Jon, which opens today. You can read descriptions and view trailers of it and other upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.

My other top recommendations:

My other recommendations:

Check out my new feature VOD Roundup, where you can find my comments on over twenty current movies available on Video on Demand. There are some good ones, some bad ones and some really, really good ones (including Letters from the Big Man).

My DVD/Stream of the Week is The Sapphires, a Feel Good triumph from Australia. The Sapphires is available on DVD from Netflix and streaming from Amazon, iTunes, Vudu, GooglePlay and other VOD outlets.

On September 28, you can watch Trouble Along the Way,
featuring John Wayne as a crooked college football coach who says “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing” (years before Vince Lombardi).

Movies to See Right Now

AIN'T THEM BODIES SAINTS

This week’s top two picks:

  • I really liked the absorbing drama Ain’t Them Bodies Saints.
  • In A Word… is the year’s best comedy so far – it’s a Hollywood satire, an insider’s glimpse into the voice-over industry, a family dramedy and a romantic comedy all in one.

I haven’t yet seen Short Term 12, the drama set in a group home with a reputedly star-making performance by Bree Larson (Rampart, The Spectacular Now). Same goes for The Family, Luc Besson’s tongue-in-cheek Mafioso-moves-to-France movie.  You can read descriptions and view trailers of it and other upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.

The powerfully authentic coming of age film The Spectacular Now and the emotionally powerful Fruitvale Station are both on my list of Best Movies of 2013 – So Far.

My other top recommendations:

My other recommendations:

Check out my new feature VOD Roundup, where you can find my comments on over twenty current movies available on Video on Demand. There are some good ones, some bad ones and some really, really good ones (including Letters from the Big Man).

My Stream of the Week is the documentary How to Make Money Selling Drugs, a dispassionate critique of the Drug War. How to Make Money Selling Drugs is available streaming from Amazon, iTunes and Vudu.

On September 17, Turner Classic Movies will air the very trippy Un Chien Andalou, made in 1929 by the then very young absurdist director Luis Buñuel with surrealist painter Salvador Dali. If you’ve never seen the famous eyeball-slicing scene, here’s your chance.

Movies to See Right Now

Lake Bell in her IN A WORLD...

In A Word… is the years best comedy so far – it’s a Hollywood satire, an insider’s glimpse into the voice-over industry, a family dramedy and a romantic comedy all in one.

The powerfully authentic coming of age film The Spectacular Now and the emotionally powerful Fruitvale Station are both on my list of Best Movies of 2013 – So Far.

My other top recommendations:

  • The jaw-dropping documentary The Act of Killing, an exploration of Indonesian genocide from the perpetrators’ point of view, is the most uniquely original film of the year.
  • Woody Allen’s very funny Blue Jasmine centers on an Oscar-worthy performance by Cate Blanchett.
  • The very well-acted civil rights epic Lee Daniels’ The Butler.

My other recommendations:

Also out right now:

  • The American porn star biopic Lovelace, more of a soap opera.
  • The British porn kingpin biopic The Look of Love.
  • The Irish horror comedy Grabbers, which fails to deliver on a great premise.
  • The astonishingly bad shocker The Rambler, with its 58 second vomit scene.

I haven’t yet seen the indie criminal-on-the-run story Ain’t Them Bodies Saints, which opens today. You can read descriptions and view trailers of it and other upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.

My DVD/Stream of the Week is the New Zealand cop miniseries Top of the Lake, starring Mad Men’s Elisabeth Moss. You can catch Top of the Lake episodes on the Sundance Channel or watch all seven episodes on DVD or streaming from Netflix, and it’s perfect for a Labor Day Weekend marathon.

The World’s End: some LOL moments, but not a Must See

THE WORLD'S END

In the British farce The World’s End, five guys return to their sleepy hometown for a fabled pub crawl through all twelve local establishments – and find their old neighbors infiltrated by robot monsters from outer space (a la Invasion of the Body Snatchers).  The central joke is that four of them have matured into forty-year-olds with families and careers, and they have been manipulated into this escapade by the fifth who is still stuck at age eighteen.  That guy, well-played by Simon Pegg, still dresses and acts as he did in high school (and still drives the same car) – and he doesn’t see why that is not OK.  The clash between this man-boy and the four regular guys is funny, and then the filmmakers add a send-up of the alien monster genre.

It’s a stellar crew – besides, Pegg, our heroes include Nick Frost (Pegg’s partner in Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, Martin Freeman (those movies plus The Office), Paddy Considine (In America, Red Riding) and Eddie Marsan (Vera Drake, Happy-Go-Lucky, Ray Donovan).  The usually upper crusty Rosamund Pike is a good sport, too.

I wish it were as funny as Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, but Pegg’s earnestly immature bozo and the silliness of the alien robots can only take The World’s End so far.  It’s mildly entertaining with some LOL moments, but not a Must See.

Movies to See Right Now

THE SPECTACULAR NOW

This week’s MUST SEE is still the powerfully authentic coming of age film The Spectacular Now – don’t miss it. Better yet, take your teens!

Along with The Spectacular Now, the emotionally powerful Fruitvale Station is also on my list of Best Movies of 2013 – So Far.

I haven’t yet seen the British farce The World’s End or the indie criminal-on-the-run story Ain’t Them Bodies Saints, which open today. You can read descriptions and view trailers of upcoming films at Movies I’m Looking Forward To.

My other top recommendations:

  • The jaw-dropping documentary The Act of Killing, an exploration of Indonesian genocide from the perpetrators’ point of view, is the most uniquely original film of the year.
  • Woody Allen’s very funny Blue Jasmine centers on an Oscar-worthy performance by Cate Blanchett.
  • The very well-acted civil rights epic Lee Daniels’ The Butler.

My other recommendations:

  • The droll indie comedy Prince Avalanche.
  • The rock documentary 20 Feet from Stardom, essential for music fans.
  • Another rock doc, A Band Called Death with the story of three African-American brothers in Detroit inventing punk rock before The Ramones and The Sex Pistols – and then dropping out of sight for decades.
  • the satisfying shocker The Conjuring.
  • The HBO documentary Casting By, which reveals an essential ingredient in filmmaking.

Also out right now:

  • I Give It a Year – a British rom com with a twist.
  • The American porn star biopic Lovelace, more of a soap opera.
  • The British porn kingpin biopic The Look of Love.
  • The Irish horror comedy Grabbers, which fails to deliver on a great premise.
  • The astonishingly bad shocker The Rambler, with its 58 second vomit scene.

My DVD/Stream of the Week is the funny and sentimental Canadian indie Cloudburst, with Oscar-winning actresses Olympia Dukakis and Brenda Fricker.  Cloudburst is available on DVD from Netflix and streaming from Amazon, iTunes, Vudu and other VOD providers.